Passport to Success

Saturday, May 2, 2009 I attended Passport to Success in Evansville, IN. I was assigned to the 3-6 age range. I did not get to attend the Feelings Island since I was helping out at registration. I joined my group just as we were moving to the Communication Island. At this island, the facilitator had activities for the children to do (i.e. parachute and balls, fly swatter hockey, etc). It did not feel like the facilitators knew how to gear the activities to this age group. They simply advised the little kids to keep the balls on the parachute. The kids had fun and ran around. The kids frequently fought with each other over who got the ball, who stood where, etc. The facilitators and volunteers kept telling them to “talk it out”. I told them about some of the techniques I learned in my child development course about telling the kids exactly what to say to each other, and the kids started working together better. For example, one time two kids were fighting over holding the same place on the parachute. I told one, “Say, ‘Brett, I want to hold the parachute right there.’” The kid repeated what I said and they stopped pulling but neither one let go. Then I asked this kid to tell Blake why he was fighting over the spot. The first boy said, “I have the purple ball and I need to stand at the purple spot to put it back on.” After hearing this perfectly logical explanation for a 5 year old, Brett said, “Oh, OK.” And moved. The facilitators never gave them any instruction on communication; they just did the activities and games. I still don’t know what the rice and safety pins have to do with communication. (Although I love the activity).
During the Relaxation Island, they had a room full of balls and then told the 3-6 year olds to calm down and relax. They were excited to play with the balls. We were told by the facilitator that these kids were too young to do yoga so they were giving them “relaxation balls”. I told her that my kids did a Silly to Calm yoga video and loved it. She decided she could do it and it worked out great. The kids loved doing the animal yoga. The strength boxes were really cool and all the kids enjoyed making them. All the volunteers and facilitators did a great job maintaining composure and not overreacting to kids who got mad or out of control.
During the family activities, I found the same problem with the facilitators not gearing the activities to the 3-6 year olds. For example, in the Feelings Island, they had a table full of blocks and told each kid to pick one. With a table full of blocks they just wanted to build towers. Once we removed the extra blocks, they started working better. It was really cool to see the parents think about how their family had changed. A few of our “couples” were not married and some had gotten together with their current partner post deployment. It was good for the kids to and parents to hear the changes.
In the communication room, they had the families play games. (This is still good for the parents and children.) As we noticed the kids and parents were worn out, we were trying to speed things up so they could get going. One of the parents asked me (as I had wondered) what rice and safety pins had to do with communication. I’m not sure if it was right, but I told them that although it is easy to see the difference between the two with your eyes open, they are almost impossible to differentiate with your eyes closed. With communication, what may sound obvious to one person, but be difficult for another to understand. They bought it and the couples were excited to do the activity. Then I ask another dad if he’d played with the Legos because it was a cool activity. They had played with them in general, but had not done the communication activity. Once I explained how it was supposed to work, he called his five year old daughter over and he, the soldier, asked his daughter to build first. She built a cool structure and the dad asked “Which piece goes first?” She pointed to the top piece and said the green one. The soldier picked up the green one and put it on the bottom. The girl continued to explain from the top down and her dad was completely confused. I moved the black divider and explained it. This energized him to start again. They did it again and got it right this time. Then all the adults were excited to try the Lego activity. Husbands and wives tried it with each other and talked about the value of listening to each other, etc. It was so cool to watch the couple get excited about the activities. When they filled out the questionnaire at the end, they saw that there were other “activities” that they didn’t do and complained that they didn’t get to do them.
I’m so glad that I didn’t just encourage them to finish it up. I was tired and wanted to get home, but seeing these families doing the Lego activity and seeing them excited about learning through play was so worthwhile. I actually got to apply some of the stuff I’ve learned in my classes. I wish every family could have this experience.