Following Inspiration

During Spring Break 2008, Joe and I went to the temple. While participating in a sealing session, I had a distinct impression that we would have someone join our family. Not knowing whether I was supposed to try to get pregnant, adopt, have another exchange student, etc, I talked to Joe before the Endowment session and asked him to pray about the direction for our family without telling him my impressions. In the Celestial room, I asked Joe about his feelings and he told me he felt it was time to open our home to someone new. We both felt that it was not time to get pregnant, but that someone would be living with us and we should clean out our extra room.

We cleaned out the room and shut the door. We didn't know how or where the person would come from, but we wanted to see if we could live well without the space. During the spring, I investigated hosting options, adoption, foster care, and offered our home to friends who needed a place to stay. We even offered our home to incoming graduate students.

The summer passed before us, it had been nearly six months since our impression. One day I was surfing Freecycle (an online goodwill) and saw a post indicating that this person had a sister who had gotten pregnant and had an apartment, but needed some baby items. When I read the post, I thought, "I should invite the sister to come and live with us." It seems so strange, so again, I didn't tell Joe what I thought, but I had him read the post. He felt the same way. Hesitantly, I responded that I did not have many baby items, but I may have an cheaper alternative place for her sister to stay and asked for more details about the situation. The sister wrote back explaining what had happened. I then disclosed that my home had an extra room and we would be willing to let her sister live with us as an "exchange student" of sorts. The sister and her husband came over and met us and looked at our home. Her sister was working as a camp counselor and would be back in a few weeks.

During the two weeks, my mind was filled with doubts. How could I invite a complete stranger into my home. I have two kids and her bedroom would be right next to theirs. I don't know about her lifestyle or anything. We looked her up on Facebook and Myspace and what we saw did not comfort us. She appeared to be living a rather open, liberal, and non-constrained life. Yet, every time I worried, I would read a scripture about caring for the poor and needy. I was reading the Joseph Smith manual for Relief Society and there would be stories of Joseph Smith opening his home. There would be talks about going outside of our comfort zone, serving those around us, and following the promptings of the spirit. I knew it was the right thing to do even though it seemed so abnormal.

When the sister, Maggie, came back into town, we invited her over on a Wednesday night to see our home and go over our expectations. We explained that we had experience with Rotary exchange students and planned to follow the same guidelines as they used. That meant that she would be expected to be a part of the family, eat with us, attend family home evening, family scripture study, family prayer, etc. She did not have to attend our church, but we hoped she would attend a church and we were happy to drive her to any church. She accepted the conditions and said that she would be present at the family events, but would not participate.

Maggie moved in the next day, Thursday evening.

On Saturday afternoon, we had a 2-year old birthday party. She came with us and met some of our friends at church. They talked about BYU sports and other topics and I saw that she was not intimidated by the conversation, but participated on her own. I was excited to see her so independent. That evening she asked what sort of thing we wear to church. We talked a little about our services. That night she took a turn reading in the scriptures

Sunday morning she was up and dressed to attend church with us. She sat in while I visit taught a sister in my home and then our home teachers came over later. She had great comments about the importance of prayer and learning about God.

On Tuesday, we had a child baptism at church. She attended and really liked the service and feelings she felt.

My sister-in-law, Kimberly, had a baby shower over Labor day weekend and she came home with us to Michigan. During the long ride, we talked a lot about her beliefs as a Lutheran and how the matched up with our beliefs. She really enjoyed visiting my family. Bishop DeVries spoke during a fifth Sunday lesson and talked about his conversion from being Lutheran and his experience. Something he said struck her and she seemed more open after that.

The missionaries to come over for their regular dinner appointment with us. She requested that they give her the lessons. We had read in the Book of Mormon every night since she had come, and I could see her changing already. It was so much fun to participate in the missionary lessons. During this time, Joe and I were also taking an online BYU religion course for sharing the gospel (a mission prep class). The lessons always matched up with exactly what we were hearing from Maggie. It answered prayers on a daily basis.

Maggie started soaking up the gospel. She went with a family from the ward to the Chicago Temple to babysit their kids and felt the spirit of the temple. She started attending institute with a friend of mine in the department, Katy Cullen, who was attending the singles ward. She received a high concentration of the gospel. She had so many new friends so quickly. She saw how are family operated and read from the scriptures. Her older friends commented to her about how happy she seemed living with us and what a wonderful change had come over her.

She was baptized in October and we went to the temple with her in November to do baptisms. She had worked with my mom finding names of her own family to take to the temple. The spirit was strong.

However, her life was not easy. Her family rejected her decision and made it painful for her. They felt betrayed. She had after all, left being a Lutheran, a religion that she had encouraged her family to join. She was living with us and not them. It was a hard time.

Maggie's faith was amazing. However, with a new faith, she had new questions. She investigated adoption. It was a hard decision to make. Maggie went into labor during Thanksgiving break. I had been gone for the weekend at the Gerontological Society of America conference and my parents were in town to help Joe with the kids. When I first planned my trip to GSA, I felt that I should come home Sunday instead of waiting until Monday like the other students and faculty. I had decided it must be so that I wouldn't miss my stats class. My professor even told me I could miss his class for a conference, but I was reluctant. On Monday morning when I woke up to Maggie telling me that she thought her water had broke, it didn't dawn on me that it could be the reason I was home early. While I was waking up, Maggie at only 30 weeks was nervous. She called her mom, she hadn't really talked to her mom in a very long time. She invited her mom to join us at the hospital.

I drove Maggie to the hospital and waited while she checked in. When her mom showed up, I dropped back, and let her mom have her place. It was a hard time for Maggie. Maggie's mom was not very social with me although I really wanted her to be. I was still worrying in the back of my mind about my stats class I was going to miss, but I knew I wanted to be there with Maggie more than going to states.

Maggie was checked in and they confirmed that her water broke. Her mom and I were both in the room, but her mom wouldn't look or talk to me. It was very hard for me. I'm used to being a neutral person. At one point I asked Maggie if she wanted me to call the Bishop or LDS Family Services. I'm so sorry I did because it set off her mom. Her mom asked me to leave the room. I went into the hallway and waited. After a long time her mom came out. I went back in and Maggie was crying. Her mom said that she had to choose between us and that she would not be in the same room with me. Maggie really wanted us both there and I wanted us both there. I told Maggie that she never has to choose between us because we will never go away. Wherever we are we will be there for her. We decided that I would leave and come back that evening. Her mom stayed all day and only left when Maggie agreed not to have me there all day.

I had called some of her friends in the ward and she received many visits. I'm not sure that her mom believed that they were all Maggie's friends. It felt like she thought I'd set it up.

I was a bit of a mess. I love Maggie and I was unsure of what to do. Joe asked Jacob Hale to come over and give me a blessing. Joe felt too close himself to give the blessing. The blessing felt just like a mission release. I was told that Maggie was making some difficult choices, but that the Lord would see her through. I was to focus on Gelisse and Byron, but keep my friendship with Maggie. I cried.

I went over on a daily basis bring things that she needed from our home. We cordinated visits so that her mom would not be upset. Maggie delivered a healthy yet premie girl, Grace Lauren.

They were in the hospital for just over one month and it was a time for Maggie to start to blend her family and her faith. Maggie moved out of our home and in with her parents. I emailed her sister and started a conversation with her.